Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize