I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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