Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
is this the sara with the beer cane?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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