He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
