Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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