he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just invented taco cereal.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
