RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
