I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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