Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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