all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
