just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
