I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
