I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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