so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
