i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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