maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just found puke in my bra..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
