Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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