i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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