i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
