The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize