they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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