i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
