She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You're like the curious george of whores
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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