So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
