Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
