I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize