I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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