is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
