just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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