Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
