ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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