Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize