it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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