There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Are we still banned from the library?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
