did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
