I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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