so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
