A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
