im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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