you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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