after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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