i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
