Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
