Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
