Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
