Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
