I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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