not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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