Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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