All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
