Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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