I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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