I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
