Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
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I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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