Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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