I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
